I do not know about the kind of relationships that excite you as a person but whatever your setup is, there is always a consequence (which can be good for you or bad for you).
My friend has a Barbershop in the UK and I go there about 2 times a week—mostly to enjoy an hour of the interesting conversations out there.
And there is a particular conversation that keeps springing up—that the African women abroad do not behave like the African women back home—that those abroad attempt or control their men and lack desirable submissiveness.
In fact, some people argue that those you even bring from Africa to join you are the worst. They will show you real pepper once they settle in.
Two days ago, when this conversation took a centre stage again, I opined that a man who shares the payment of bills with a woman (which is the case of a lot of African men abroad) should not expect some level of submissiveness or control of the affairs of the relationship.
If you live with a woman and your rent is £1,000 per month—and she pays half and you also pay half—then you are setting yourself up for equal power sharing in the relationship. All of you are going to wear trousers in that relationship at some point.
If you go out with a woman and she has to pay half of the bill or even pay for the entire bill, then you are asking that she calls the shots too.
You cannot expect a woman to work 12 hours a day just like you—probably working 72 hours a week (6 days a week) so that both of you will share the cost of living—and then expect that she wouldn’t have some heightened level of control or smugness in the relationship.
You lie bad.
An equal share of liability entails an equal share of profits—an equal share of responsibility comes with an equal share of power.
Being the head of your relationship is not an inherent right—it is one you acquire by your actions—taking charge and providing.
A man must provide for and protect his woman and children. If you want to be seen up there, you must really reside up there.
You cannot expect to treat your partner or children as co-tenants when it suits you by getting to them share in the bills with you and then turn around to expect that they should bow to your “grace”. What grace, I may ask?
As a man, bite what you can chew. Don’t go chasing women because everyone is chasing them. Your status and bank balance to a large extent determine the sort of treatment and respect you will get in a relationship. This is common sense.
Seek agreeable women but remember you need to reward and excite them for being the type of women you want—or else they will switch up on you.
I have never been a fan of equal sharing or women paying bills in any relationship. A man must take charge and don’t really bother yourself about a woman’s money.
If you want to be sharing bills with your partner or be keenly interested in the money a woman makes–good for you. I have never done that and I am not about to start that in my life.
My life has been on a smooth sail the way I want it partly because I take up my entire responsibility in this area as a man when it comes to relationships.
A lot of men are thrown out of “their houses” because there is no real or superficial need for them even to be there. After all, the woman pays the entire bills or has to share them with you.
-Source:Chris-Vincent Agyapong
