In my recent write-up on Achraf Hakimi, the Moroccan football player’s divorce case, I tried to point out some lessons from their issues and provide general education on marriage.
Unfortunately, majority of the youth, who are mainly single, decided to attack me instead of reading to learn. My crime is that I didn’t write to support their views on someone’s private marriage life, about which they don’t have details. As at now, they don’t have access to the couple or to the writ of summons to conclude who is right and who is wrong, who married out of love or for wealth.
The views of these youth clearly speaks about how they understand marriage and their disregard for knowledge that can be used for their future. Some choose to display their foolishness in the open and have no idea how embarrassing that is.
Many of these guys are single and have no respect for women, and what they think about a wife in the context of marriage is problematic. The sad part is that they are not willing to learn but rather insult anyone who tries to educate them on the issue.
I will continue to write on these issues. That’s part of my work to educate and teach those who are willing to learn. When people fail to learn, lots of divorce awaits us. We will have unstable families and societies if we fail to build stable homes and marriages.
People need to know that no matter the size of their wealth, success, achievement, status, etc., when you agree to marry, you are openly setting yourself up to be equally yoked with the person, share your bodies and wealth, build a family bond, etc. It does not matter your religion, beliefs, etc.
If you don’t trust them to the extent of doing that, you either choose to stay single or sign a prenuptial agreement; otherwise, after marriage, your partner will become co-owner of your wealth.
There are bad people who know this and even get married to well-to-do people and later seek divorce, and they end up with a share of their spouse’s wealth. I didn’t institute marriage neither did I make the law on marriage. That is what it is. When you go to Rome, you do as the Romans do.
Before you insult me and cite Nii Odartey Lamptey, the former Arsenal player, and Cote d’Ivoire star Emmanuel Eboue. Remember, they chose their spouses. Your marriage is not the same as theirs; you are free to learn from their story, but displaying stupid anger because of what they went through is no excuse. There are wicked men and women out there. Sin, evil, sickness is not a gender thing, it’s a human illness. You can be a victim or an antagonist.
The more people are enlightened on these issues, the more vigilant they will become, and marriages will be safer. Divorce is expensive, which is why one needs to marry well and maintain a healthy marriage. Marrying someone comes at a cost, but divorcing them costs more.
- Frank Edem Adofoli (Counselor Adofoli)
Counselor, ADR Practitioner, Conference Speaker, Author
CEO, The Marriage Consult LTD.
T. +233201435300
